Da Wiseman

Street Knowledge

Cassidy

Lyrics & Rhyme Analysis

105

End

722

Internal

412

Multi

748

Slant

Chain

Rhyme Groups — hover to spotlight

Can I have a cigarette^✦ cause I love Lucy?^✦

Honey^✦ I'm home and your caboose needs

A real rough spanking

Make you black and blue like Battleship Potemkin

Except^✦ that film was black and white, not black and blue

Not "B and B" but "B and W"

BMW, yeah I saw you roll up

I was in my 1992 corolla

No airbags, no sweat

I won't crash, I bet

But I can't bet, I'm not 21

Show up at the clubs still just for fun

But the bouncers they rejected^✦ me

They detected^✦ the affected^✦ me

Who grew a beard so I'd look legal^✦

Shaved^✦ it off to look more regal^✦

But kings, they don't shave on their own

If they leave to shave who's going to watch the throne?

Abstinence^✦ makes^✦ the heart grow fonder^✦

Clean my cash, money^✦ launder

Squash at the Thanksgiving^✦ table

Start me up with a jumper^✦ cable

Mick can't finish^✦ because^✦ once you start him up he'll never^✦ stop just like the energizer rabbit^✦

Blowing^✦ every^✦ 90 minutes that's a geyser^✦ habit^✦

Old faithful,^✦ that's my geyser^✦

Reviewed Yellowstone on Tripadvisor

Old Faithful,^✦ young cynic^✦

Paid specialist,^✦ free clinic^✦

Where you go to get tested^✦

God forbid^✦ you get molested^✦

Make sure you get that creep arrested^✦ -

How I like my development

Who? Ann? Her? Oh she's irrelevant

Tony^✦ Hale pooped^✦ himself, Buster^✦ Brown

Last 3,2,1, Gob's final^✦ countdown

That's AD, no call it CE

Come on let's be PC, no more feces^✦

In our humor,^✦ no more poop jokes^✦

Fake veggies,^✦ artificial^✦ artichokes^✦

Call Penn Jillette's daughter^✦ Razorblade - the strokes^✦

Don't worry,^✦ I got different^✦ ones^✦ for different^✦ folks

Strokes^✦ for my British mates^✦ and Aussie blokes^✦

Morton^✦ salt, when it rains it soaks

Careful with the sodium, number^✦ one slayer

Bon Jovi^✦ with heart disease, living^✦ on a prayer

Houston^✦ boys, me, Pat Swayze, Bill Hicks

Put some air in my shoes got those pumped^✦ up kicks

Foster^✦ the People, Foster^✦ Arian^✦

OBGYN libertarian^✦

Ron Paul looked^✦ good in Bruno^✦

Michael Cera^✦ put a kid in Juno^✦

You know, he grew that mustache out

Brazzaville^✦ teenager now a brazzaville^✦ adult

Happy^✦ birthday from India,^✦ happy^✦ returns

Call me Zach in the garden,^✦ we're between^✦ two ferns

He ain't gonna^✦ email^✦ you no more, you know

The less you feel the more you know, you know

Didn't know before^✦ but now you know, fo show

Oh, cause this is Mike's^✦ itty^✦ bitty^✦ short show

Marin^✦ Short's show, Jiminy^✦ Glick

Blurring real and fake like Robin^✦ Thicke

Martin^✦ Short co-staring with Mulaney^✦

Funniest dude out there, ain't he?

Spoon at the library,^✦ Gimme Fiction^✦

Fallon's vocab, Jimmy's^✦ diction^✦

Astroglide reduces friction^✦

I think you're a contradiction^✦

Don't shoot, I'm giving^✦ up the gun

Got my bed made, got my sweater^✦ on

Vampires all seven^✦ days a week

Julian^✦ Assange took a wiki-leak

And so did Bradley^✦ Manning

But he no longer^✦ takes^✦ it standing

I make sounds like foley^✦

Leave the bang bang and take the cannoli

Gigi^✦ Bufon^✦ is the godfather's goalie

Find my nirvana^✦ like Dave Grohl, he's

Fighting the good fight, you know the foo one

Religious^✦ paradox? How about^✦ a jew nun

Go paintballing and I take my hue gun

Government take over^✦ on sale, that's a coup pun

Vikings want vicodin, drug store pillage^✦

Takes^✦ a child to bring down a village^✦

Cheese and bread, let's start the grillage^✦

Oil and water^✦ like BP spillage^✦

Mr. Diderot, tear down this fourth wall

Before^✦ it happens by force, that's a forestall

From the south but I got a north drawl

Need Bob Odenkirk? You better^✦ call Saul

Poison^✦ your stevia^✦ and kill you with sweetness

You want to run the KY derby?^✦ oh you're a freak, miss

Win that, the b\Belmont, then I win the Preakness

Three crowns, three kings, three wise men

Take those gifts back and come back again^✦

When you've returned the frankincense and brought back something better^✦

Grandma style gifts, pair of socks and a sweater^✦

Gandhi^✦ slept with little women^✦

All in one cot, however^✦ many^✦ could fit in

Louisa^✦ May, she had it written^✦

Great literature^✦ not from Great Britain

Ich ben ein dubliner,^✦ James^✦ Joyce

Ich ben ein berliner,^✦ your choice

Do you want grape or raspberry iced?^✦

Grape is the choice made by my passive^✦ voice

West coast gets an east infection^✦

Catholic boys get a priest injection^✦

C-section,^✦ save your lady^✦ parts

Four score calendars that's eighty^✦ charts

You see Banksy^✦ mastering^✦ the shady^✦ arts

Exit^✦ through the gift shop, that's just street smarts

Dropping^✦ street knowledge, dropping^✦ trou

Dropping^✦ bombs like Collin^✦ Powell^✦

Secretary^✦ of San Francisco, Condoleezza Rice-a-roni

Congressman Anthony Oscar^✦ Mayer Weiner^✦ bologna

Elliot^✦ Spitzer paying a tramp

Turn off the lights and remove^✦ the tamp-

On, that time of the month and you've got a cramp

You know me, can't help being a scamp

Crime and Punishment, crime and misdemeanor

Mia loved^✦ Woody^✦ but her daughter^✦ came between^✦ her

What is it with asian^✦ girls and jewish^✦ weiner?^✦

Kubrick cleaning^✦ carpets, call it Stanley^✦ Steamer

Period^✦ socialist,^✦ dot commie

King of queens of stoneage,^✦ Kevin^✦ James^✦ and Josh Homme

I got friends in college throwing^✦ keggers

While I'm at home reading^✦ Dave Eggers^✦

Because^✦ I love the internet tendency

While you're out getting^✦ drunk on wine and hennessey,^✦ Tennessee^✦

Cat beneath the hot tin ceiling

Put a bandaid on your hymen^✦ get that sexual^✦ healing

I only^✦ cry words, got intellectual^✦ feelings

And a theoretical bow, the conceptual^✦ keeling

JRR toking,^✦ lord of the smoke rings

Cyber^✦ sex you get a facebook poking^✦

New Jersey's got a homeless problem

Far too many^✦ hobos^✦ in Hoboken

Bright like the sun, Portugal el hombre

Destiny's children telling^✦ me to diga^✦ mi nombre

Jim Henson^✦ cried a single puppeteer

Leave some booze in the woods and fuck up a deer

10 speed dick, change your Richard Gere

Beer batter^✦ says bring another^✦ pitcher here

Louis CK, that ginger's funny^✦

Can't make an easter^✦ omelette^✦ and not injure^✦ a bunny^✦

Clean my clothes with tide to help me get my wave on

Snacking after^✦ the storm, taste the rainbow like Trayvon

Sad he never^✦ ate those skittles^✦

Houston^✦ jew like Harris^✦ Wittels

Who raps like me and asks you riddles?

Sorority^✦ girls love their littles^✦

Because^✦ it's a greek institution^✦

Gulliver's littles^✦ were lilliputian^✦

The cleanest proposal by Jonathan Swiffer^✦

Improv satirist, caustic riffer^✦

Your boyfriend and my dicks might differ^✦

Mine is longer^✦ his is stiffer^✦

Bloodflow makes^✦ it tough for startin'

Blood rushing to my head like I'm Christopher Martin^✦

JFK in the white house getting^✦ head in spanish

EL-BJ almost made Vietnam vanish^✦

This chicken^✦ gyro^✦ tastes^✦ a little lambish

But I'll eat it anyway^✦ because^✦ I'm so famished

Get your gyros^✦ at Niko^✦ Niko's^✦

Greek food made by actual^✦ greekos

All that food goes to your obliques, those

Love handles, sex grips, hang on you might need those

Chester Arthur's eating^✦ cheetos

Got the presidential^✦ ethos^✦

How much debt is on the ledger?^✦

All the unpaid^✦ money^✦ Heath owes^✦

If beauty^✦ is truth and truth is beauty^✦

Girl, you've got an honest^✦ booty^✦

Come over^✦ here and give me coodies^✦

Throwing^✦ up hail mary's^✦ like I'm Doug Flutie

Forgive^✦ me father^✦ I have sinned,^✦ I want to make that clear

But less than I've been sinned^✦ against,^✦ you can call me Lear

I'm mad to repent,^✦ my dear Kent, and that makes^✦ you unmannerly

Well I can tell you're Jay Patel^✦ because^✦ you love your family^✦

Cheer up Jean, daydream believer^✦

Leave it to pixar,^✦ Wall-e Cleaver

I don't want your scraps because^✦ you already bit it

Won't stop bothering^✦ me I got to force quit it

Cold turkey,^✦ frozen^✦ chicken,^✦ Mike Tyson^✦

You blow like the wind and you suck like a dyson^✦

This rap is my opus

You're eyes are myopic^✦

Four eyes, five guys, cheeseburger out of paradise, dystopic

Let's be happy^✦ - why so stoic?

Can't find happiness? control f-it

Bad student, no effort^✦

Game not fair, you ref it

Making^✦ gold records like I'm David^✦ Geffen^✦

I'm indifferent,^✦ I'm in no mood

I don't know where you end like Edwin^✦ Drood

Charles Dickens, Oliver^✦ Twist

Spray the apes,^✦ gorillas in the mist

Furniture^✦ for wizards at Harry^✦ Pottery^✦ Barn

Megaball string picking, lottery^✦ yarn

Stitches in a beaver^✦ that's an ottery^✦ darn

What's that in my poo? oh it's gotta^✦ be corn!

Dress to impress and smell to compel^✦

Your scent might be why things aren't^✦ going so well

Won't get any^✦ drinks if I can't stand your odor^✦

Damn you smell nice, can I buy you a soda?^✦

A diet sunkist or an orange^✦ crush?

I know your flavor,^✦ you orange^✦ lush

I like your luscious^✦ locks, your salmon^✦ hair

Your pony^✦ tail looks like the ass of a mare

That ass right there, that ass ain't fair

That's one magic^✦ derrière^✦

It cast a spelling^✦ on me, I'm hooked^✦ on phonics^✦

Cleanse your ass of the plague, a bubonic^✦ colonic^✦

I see through your guise, cut the histrionics^✦

A lonely^✦ loner,^✦ how ironic^✦

Unknown in Indiana,^✦ that makes^✦ you a hoosier^✦

No laughs in Iraq because^✦ I bombed^✦ Fallujah

Gifts rapped^✦ black like Roots Manuva^✦

Couldn't buy a diamond so I bought her a nuva^✦

Elle Woods adopts a black guy in the legally blonde side

Hairy^✦ granola bar stays by Han's side

Surfing lily^✦ pads, going on a frond ride

Fix up your dog like that Dr. Armond^✦ guy

Like the pillsbury doughboy I'm a white role model^✦

No need to worry^✦ when my foot's on the throttle

Below^✦ the limit,^✦ I'm a nervous^✦ driver^✦

I love driving^✦ like explosions^✦ love Macgyver

Much prefer^✦ walking,^✦ that's my forte - Macgruber

Give you the bends like unsupervised^✦ scuba^✦

You shouldn't do it unsupervised^✦

Two of me walking^✦ 'round like those looper^✦ guys

Bruce Willy^✦ JGL what a handsome combo^✦

Identity^✦ erased^✦ you can call me John Doe

Really,^✦ what drugs are you on though?

Swerving around^✦ like Rajon^✦ Rondo^✦

Ranger^✦ from the north now I'm the king of Gondor^✦

I spit fire, thank your first responders

For cleaning^✦ the saliva^✦ off your head

Lady^✦ godiva^✦ rides^✦ into^✦ my bed

But she's white chocolate^✦ or better^✦ yet just white

Nothing^✦ against^✦ chocolate^✦ but I like my girls white

Sorry^✦ cancer^✦ patients but I don't date bald girls

Stay out of my bathroom because^✦ you'd be appalled, girls

It smells like cat poop, blame the feline^✦

He sees a string then he makes^✦ a b-line

Thinks he's the king of land and water^✦ like a cheshire^✦ sea lion

I work all day, he's got nothing^✦ but free time

He declines all my offers^✦ of grace

Sometimes I wake up with his tail in my face

I saw you earlier^✦ so save your hello's^✦

Uneducated^✦ boy like Brian Fellows

New York's hottest club is 'What?'

Stefon^✦ gives^✦ it to Seth Meyers in the butt

Yeah two straight men getting^✦ busy^✦

Alfalfa with a mic, little rascal,^✦ little dizzy^✦

Tis the season^✦ to be jolly^✦

Butterfly floating like Muhammad Ali^✦

Bee stings courtesy of Cassius Clay

Clint Eastwood at a roast going to make your day-is

Can you tell me on what day the play is?

Which play? Medea?^✦ Oh, another?^✦

Yeah but this one's^✦ written^✦ by my brother^✦

Ok I might like the writing but who's gonna^✦ do it?

Who but Tony^✦ nominee^✦ Tom Hewitt

Oh, what more can I say?

Robin^✦ Williams starting off the week, Mork and Monday^✦

Fine dining^✦ at Barboncino

Loading^✦ up on carbs and vino^✦

In Haiti^✦ all the plumbing's shoddy^✦

Port au Prince is full of port-o-potties^✦

You hate Obamacare but it started with Romney^✦

Couldn't catch the pass because^✦ Nanmdi^✦ was on me

Waist management, hip sanitation^✦

Hitachi bringing you some good vibrations^✦

Happy^✦ abstinence^✦ let's have a celebation^✦

Narrate^✦ my junk with a dick dictation^✦

King's toilet^✦ gets a royal flush

Saphire^✦ won't fight you he only^✦ writes^✦ his push

Lana^✦ Del Rey's got a caffeinated^✦ bush

Caffeine addiction?^✦ thank you very^✦ much

Because^✦ I got to stay awake^✦ at work

Steve Martin's a good guy but he's still a jerk

He's one of those wild and crazy^✦ guys

Eating^✦ wild rice and crazy^✦ fries

Dan Aykroyd, Ghostbuster^✦

Plain swear poop, vanilla cuss turd

Hot have to round up, spicy^✦ mustard

You're my stood up heavy^✦ satellite, Guster^✦

Cause I'm the dusterbuster^✦

Ironize your shine with a luster^✦ ruster^✦

Fat pie maker,^✦ robust^✦ cruster^✦

Head's just one big fucked^✦ cluster^✦

Right?

But who let Phil Spector have two dogs?

Not me

Have a good night

Technical Breakdown

8.9

Multisyllabic Rhymes9.5

Complexity of rhyme schemes (data-driven)

Internal Rhymes9.5

Rhymes within a line (data-driven)

Wordplay / Double Entendres7.0

Clever language, metaphors, punchlines

Cadence / Rhythm10.0

Flow variation and timing (data-driven)

Vocabulary Complexity8.0

Range and depth of words used (data-driven)

Delivery / Breath Control8.0

Performance and control

Computed Score8.89

Production

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Critic Analysis

RAPLEDGER BAROMETER™

Cassidy exhibits high-level technical agility and a playful, irreverent approach to rhyme schemes, prioritizing internal density and rapid-fire cadence over thematic cohesion.

A+

9.5

Multisyllabic

9.5

Internal Rhymes

Cadence / Flow

Vocabulary

Wordplay

Delivery

multisyllabic internal rhymephonetic wordplayenjambment-based punchlinesrapid cadence switching

Rhyme Architecture: Dense, polysyllabic internal rhyme structures that utilize cascading vowel sounds, transitioning frequently between AABB and complex interlocking rhyme chains.

Verified Doubles & Entendres

"I love Lucy"

① Reference to the classic television sitcom I Love Lucy.② A literal statement about his affection for someone named Lucy.

"black and blue like Battleship Potemkin"

① The color bruising (black and blue) resulting from a spanking.② A reference to the visual aesthetic of the film Battleship Potemkin (which is famously black and white).

"clean my cash, money launder"

① The illegal act of concealing the origins of illegally obtained money.② A play on the previous line about abstinence making the heart grow fonder, utilizing the phonetic similarity between 'fonder' and 'launder'.

Exceptional rhythmic control and pocket management

High density of internal rhymes

Witty, unpredictable pop-culture subversions

Dynamic vocal pacing

Narrative fragmentation

Occasionally forced connections between disparate topics

Punchline payoff consistency varies

Street Knowledge

Lyrics & Rhyme Analysis

Technical Breakdown

Production

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